Failure & Success: I Was A Nobody.

I want to keep this short and sweet. As the new year approaches, I want to write something which may inspire or motivate you.

In school, I was always last pick when it came to activities. I was a football fanatic but absolutely sucked at it. I played for a local team and was never played in my favored position. I would play as a central defender and don't ever remember making a tackle. There was a game where the coach played me as an attacking midfielder. I came on as a sub for the last 5 minutes. My second touch of the ball was a goal. I still remember dancing in jubilation, I had scored which became the winning goal. All the other kids got a medal that day, I didn't get one. The next game I was a substitute again; my team was getting dismantled. The game was already lost so the manager thought he may as well give me a run. I still remember him saying: "If you go on, you better not stop running." -  The score was 7-1. I came on as a central midfielder and after 5 minutes of running I was absolutely shattered. I looked towards the touchline and the manager was getting ready to substitute me, so I ran. I took the ball off the opposition on the halfway mark and ran as fast as I could, my heart pounding and my mind wanting me to stop. This resulted in an assist; I set up a further 3 goals and the match ended 7-5. I didn't get a losers medal that day. The coach promised me one at a later time but that time never came. I left the team and stopped playing football.

I fell in love with football again when I was introduced to 5 a side football a couple of years later. I started off rusty, unfit and my reading off the game was as precise as a blunt razor blade. I did suck for a few years. When I managed to find fitness and started going to the park on my own and practicing skills and tricks I had seen on YouTube, I actually became really good. I'm way too old to go anywhere with football now (In a footballing perspective), but I can play now with great tenacity.

This is another 'in school one'. In school, I was called names and was mocked for my physical appearance. I was either 'skinny' or 'ugly'. Through my late teenage years, I was extremely dissatisfied with life and was stressed. I began to put on weight and although I didn't get huge, I didn't like what I saw in the mirror. My friends would often mock me and tease me about getting fat. This is exactly why I love my friends. They drove me to getting into better shape than them. As for those kids in school who called me names, I would love a school reunion so we could compare our lives. I'm only joking, but you see where I'm coming from... So kids let that be a lesson to you, do not look down on anyone.

My teachers never directly told me I was failure, but I know they thought it. I don't blame them, I was lazy and lacked concentration. There was this one guy who used to call me stupid and rub his grades in my face. Like I said, I would love a reunion. I was raised in a broken home. If you come from a broken home, you could relate and understand that motivation is difficult to find. Honestly, I did not know how important a GCSE was. Rightly so, I failed every single thing.

I won't go into detail of what happened after. But I went onto study two degrees in Journalism and Sport & Exercise Science.

You know them awards and certificates you win in school assemblies? Yeah, I had never got any.

Music, one thing that I am renowned for. I was the worst. I absolutely sucked. My voice was terrible, my flow was awful and my delivery was cold pizza. My one strong attribute were my lyrics. I wrote with emotion, I just couldn't record as well as I wrote.I went onto getting hundreds of thousands of hits and downloads, as well as a strong social media following. I did not 'make it' in music, but I never wanted to. The level I acquired was the level I wanted to be at. I've met great people, made great friends and got the love and affection I set out to get.

All I am trying to say is, you are what you want yourself to be. I will continue to grow stronger, bigger and better each year. No one can stop me, my only obstacle is myself. If I trip, I will stand right back up. If they laugh, I will give them no reason to laugh anymore. If they tell me that I'm not good enough, I will show them that I am more than good enough. To this day, people doubt me. I love the challenge. I may seem like I am doing nothing and am incapable of achieving what you expect me not to, but I damn right will.  I do not talk, I do. I don't show off, I show up. You are not what is seen in your reflection or by the human eye, you are that fire inside of you. If it burns as much as mine, you will succeed.

Stay With Me

Politeness: From The Heart?

Do you ever get the feeling that someone is only being nice to you because there is some sort of reason or agenda behind it? I'm not just talking about that long lost friend who hasn't contacted you in years and is asking for a favor; I'm talking in all aspects. Being kind can either come from the heart of a person or a mind. It is either intentional or unintentional, natural or forced.

I personally do not care how nice a person is to me if they aren't the same with other people. A polite person is polite in general, not occasion. If my 'companion' enjoys the demise of others, it shows that there is a possibility that one day they will enjoy mine (god forbid).

I once had a childhood friend who spoke foul and often bullied other children. We were very good friends and would tell each other things we would not tell other people. One day, we had a disagreement whilst my mother was cooking food for us. He blackmailed me, in my own home. He threatened to spread my disclosure if I did not comply with him. This was all my own fault. I was obviously a child and did not know better, but it taught me a lesson that I will never forget. If a person can be a specific way with other people, they can also be that way with you. If it's not in their nature to be kind or moral (even if you see the best in them), that kindness you are receiving from them is not natural.

So, this brings me on to my next point. Family/relations. In my family, the women are the common culprits of this behavior. I have aunties and relatives who I absolutely adore and although they treat me with great hospitality and what not, I know that it is only a duty for them. They do not feed me because they care about my well being; they feed me because I am related to them. Some even talk to me like I'm their own child, and when I am not in their presence they talk about me like I am someone else's; which in fact is true, but if I see them as my mother figures, why can they not see me as their child figure? The answer to that is simple: Politeness, kindness from the heart.

I have always said that if there is ever a feud in a family and the reason is financially driven. Money is worth much more than the persons morals or soul. There is no right in family feuds. Everyone involved is wrong and are setting extremely horrific examples to their children. Again, feuds and grudges derive from ones heart. It is not just simply a choice, it is an impetus from the heart.

The friends we choose are not always polite. Yes, maybe to you they are and maybe you love their company too. But when the going gets tough, are your friends REALLY there? This brings me onto the gang culture that today's youth are suffering from, even adults who cannot grip the concept of maturity. These people will talk about being 'real', we hear it in their songs and in their videos. Real is reality, in short. These same people that claim to be 'real' will live a lifestyle which results in a death or injury of their friend, attend their funeral or hospital bed and continue living the same lifestyle. Is this REAL-ity? Like I said, politeness from the heart. When under bad influence, a good hearted person will think twice and change their ways. I wrote this paragraph specifically for the younger generation because I have younger siblings and was almost influenced towards that path myself.

Anyway, like I was saying. The friends we choose are not always polite. To you, yes, but think about the way they behave with other people. No one deserves bad treatment, maybe ignorance, but you should not treat someone a way in which you would not like to be treated yourself! If you have nothing nice to say or do, then just do or say nothing. A friend will laugh/smile at you, a true friend will laugh/smile with you.

I had a lot more to say and wanted to go a lot more in detail, but I want people to actually read this blog post instead of looking at how long the text is and not bothering. This is not an issue that can be fixed. Just addressed.

The Difference: A Sexy Woman & A Beautiful Woman

 Before you start reading (ladies or homosexual men), you can apply this to males as well. This is just my opinion and I have only had experiences with women.

Usually, my posts are more emotive and I let you delve into my past and give you a rough idea on who I was and who I am now. I guess you could say that this is also a part of my experience. Simply just my opinion; I genuinely believe there are two types of attractive women. Beautiful women who capture your eyes and your heart, and sexy women who steal your eyes and your mind. (I use the word steal, because in a lust plagued state of mind, your moral conscience is lost to these women.)

I have met several different women and seen several different situations in relation to this specific topic. A few days ago, I had just received a text message from a friend of mine who had been trying to get the attention of a female who had caught his eye. His message read: "I tried talking to her today. I didn't even try nothing, I just said Hi and asked how she was and she looked at me sarcastically". My reply was 'Just leave her. Unless your testosterone levels are too high to control, then continue to pursue her. A (metaphorically speaking, no pun intended) kick in the balls is better than a broken heart." Although this comparison is debatable, a kick in the balls is pretty severe.

Okay, now let me relieve you of the boring part and get down to the main body of this blog.

We'll start with beautiful woman. Here is the dictionary definition of beautiful. 'pleasing the senses or mind aesthetically.' - For those of you who don't know, the word aesthetic isn't just associated with physicality. Beautiful woman are polite, selfless, modest, unattentive and all the other things which make you think "This girl is an absolute god send.".

 If you compliment a beautiful woman, she will thank you and think you are being friendly, rather than you being another guy that's hitting on her. A beautiful girl does not involve herself in gossip and take any notice of what other girls are talking about. A beautiful girl will always know where she stands, what she is worth, but will never ever think she is too good for someone.A beautiful woman will barely ever be disrespected, she will not give him a reason to say a bad thing about her.

You get the drift. I could say so many things about these kind of women because they really do bring a mans imagination to life.  Like words can paint a thousand pictures; a beautiful woman can accumulate endless compliments.

Now, sexy women. A sexy woman (in the least rudest way I can put it) is one who appeases the eye and allows the devil himself to control the mind of the beholder. A sexy woman loves a compliment, but will only acknowledge these compliments from those who she feels are worthy of her acknowledgment, A sexy woman is popular, she talks to several people and is involved in all the gossip. She will have a thousand men after her but will cry for one who just constantly hurts her because sexiness just doesn't capture the heart, but she just hasn't grasped the concept... Yet. A sexy woman will quite frequently face abuse... But I won't go into that much, like I said; my theory is just my opinion.

If you have the mental capacity to abbreviate what the whole concept of this blog actually is, you will acknowledge the fact that I am not mocking or generalising anyone. I am not referring to physicality and what a female flaunts and doesn't. It's all in the mind....

This blog post highlights the important of intelligence and wisdom. Sexy and beautiful are just words in disguise.They are not physical descriptions, they are TRAITS.





P.S. The picture's below are no way related to whatever I'm saying. They're just there for the hell of it.

 

Backwards Mentality: FIGHT IT!

On social media sites, you see people tweet or status about other people all the time. Directly or indirectly, and this kind of behavior is wrong. If you indulge in this behavior then you HAVE a mental flaw. This is just an example. You need to control your mind, and your mind will then steer your heart the right way. Don't come across bitter, humble yourself, regardless of what anyone else is doing.

I was just like you, it took death for me to realise that I was full of flaws mentally. ARE YOU AWARE, that once you die, people will attend your funeral and talk about you, over your dead corpse, depending on the kind of person you were? In my religion, the more people that are affectionate towards your death the better. Because I go to the afterlife with their prayers and blessings. If I have people that talk bad of me once I die, I will not end up in a good place. It will be painful to my soul.

Be nice, dismiss the actions of other people and focus solely on yourself. It is easy to talk about someone because everything sinful is easy, right? But to dismiss in such talk, shows how strong and  good your character is. Be nice to everyone and I assure you that no one will have a bad thing to say about you. If you don't want to be nice, that's fine. Just don't be bitter, you will find life is much more easier when you're nice.

I just wanted to make a short blog on this because it is something that I want to see less of. Make a change and the change will make you.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT WHAT OTHERS DO, WORRY ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE DOING!

Stay With Me.

Getting Fit: Novice's Guide

Do you want a better body? And you are absolutely clueless on how you can get that perfect figure? Have no fear, it can be done. I was also once like you, it's not as hard as it seems once you know what you are doing.

If you want to cut the fat off your body, simple. Lower your daily calorie intake by about 500 and cut out processed carbs, minimize general carb consumption. Also eat on time; most of your results will come from the food you eat. I got trim without going to the gym, believe it or not, just from doing this and eating chicken! That doesn't mean you shouldn't go to the gym though, because you should. If I was going to the gym too, I would have made some serious gains. When I eventually discovered the gym, I fell in love with myself and was surprised at my transformation.

People are so fixated on getting a six pack and this is why they fail at the first hurdle. You cannot just focus on one area of your body, you will get no where. It's like having a favorite child that you solely focus on, what kind of parent would that make you? Awful example, but you get the drift.

I don't do any ab exercises and I attained a six pack, how? Low body fat percentage and working other parts of my body. Your abs are your core, they are being worked with most exercises. Abs are just like any other muscle and working them will just stimulate them and make them grow. YOU ALREADY HAVE THEM THOUGH. Do NOT bother doing sit ups with a beer belly because you WON'T get your dream abs. EVERYONE HAS ABS, you see them once your body fat percentage is low.

Don't waste your time, efforts or money on supplements. The only ones I would recommend are: Whey protein and some multivitamins that fulfill your bodies recommended daily intake.

DO YOUR RESEARCH. 

If you would like further advice, whatever your physical aim is, feel free to E-mail me @ ajlyone@live.co.uk

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Vanity: Something I Do Not Promote.

When I was younger, I always wanted to be a hero. You know, strong, fast and there to help people (obviously). A hero is the kind of character I base my own personality around.

For the past few years, we have lived in a media dominated generation and appearance has been severely emphasised. My primary school crush called me ugly once, I was about 10 or something. It made me cry. Throughout my early years at secondary school, I was called ugly. I used to hear girls talk about how they wanted 'tall, dark and handsome' - I built myself around those insults and I prayed for the day, I was tall, dark and handsome. God has given me some kind of beauty as I have got older, them insults such as ugly, do not come around as often. This is not vanity, this is me being thankful. 

Recently I was asked why I take topless photos, I'll tell you why. I have been skinny, I have been out of shape and most recently I have been in the best shape of my life. Some have seen me skinny, some have seen me out of sorts and now everyone can see me at my best. Do I need to explain? It is not about me trying to show off, it is my revenge to those who made fun of what I looked like. I wasn't gifted the physique I currently have, I worked and prayed for it. 

So what motivated me to work on my physique? They wanted tall, dark and handsome? Here you go, but not for you, not for me, but for the child that was mocked for how he appeared. Please, intention is NOT attention and we live in a confused society that fails to differentiate the two.  

I will carry on showing those people my progression, after all; they were my motivation. I am not even halfway yet.

But like I said, I wanted to be a hero when I was younger. I helped myself, maybe after reading this, I've helped you too. You can be whatever you want to be.

P.S. I am much grateful.

Stay With Me.

Life: Sit Back & Enjoy The Ride (Part 2)

Before you start reading this blog post, please read Part 1 by clicking HERE.

So what did I do after failing my GCSEs? I moved back to my birth place in Reading to live with my grandparents. I had always told my grandfather (whom I had an extremely strong relationship with) that I was to come and stay with him and my grandma whilst I was living in Oxford, and I did. The bad people that I had got involved with would say that 'I ran away' and yes, I did. I saw an opportunity to grab a new life and move on from the life I hated waking up to and I ran towards it. The best decision I had ever made.

My granddad was ill, therefore moving to Reading was ideal for me, he was my best friend, where else would I rather be?

The first few weeks however were really difficult for me. I had to adjust to staying in all the time, eating the same food my grandparents ate and not having any video games or siblings to keep me occupied. I had to make new friends and adjust to a new environment.

My first day at college was pretty weird. I felt almost like a lost child, I knew what I was doing here but I didn't know how I got here. I spent most of my class times day dreaming, a bad habit from my school days, where I paid no attention whatsoever. I remember two pretty girls were checking me out, well, at least I thought they were until one of them said "He's ugly." - Man, the amount of times I had got home and looked at myself in the mirror that day. I wasn't very confident, my college days were probably my most unattractive days.

Here's a video of me from my first year at college, for your entertainment (Skip to 5.27):

As the academic year went by, I made a few friends, decent lads. We all shared something in common; we fu.... Messed up.

When results day came, a few of us failed, a few passed and the rest did okay. I had passed but not the way I wanted to pass. The highest grade I got was a B in English. My only above C grade. I sucked at Maths and got a D, had another year in college doing 2 A-Levels and GCSE maths.

Failed Maths again in second year, I didn't give up, I took Maths again the following year whilst doing my A2's. Failed again. I didn't get the A Level grades I wanted either so I retook a few modules the following year and I did okay, but I failed Maths again for the fourth time. I made it to university though. There were several times that I wanted to give up, but I didn't. Even through numerous failures I carried on.

My flaw was revision. No matter what I did, I could not steadily focus on revising. Revision is a skill, and it was a skill I should have developed at school. Hey, I even made and released a few songs days before my exams, but the point being is that I still TRIED. If you are in a similar situation, YOU can go one step further than me. You can try and try hard. Revise, find the easiest way to revise for yourself and get grades that I never got and feel great about yourself! If not, get something at least... You know what they say, time is money; invest it and you're sure to get some sort of return.

I dislike when people say that if you are not hitting high grades academically then you are stupid. Take no notice, I know A* students that lack basic common sense! In fact, I know A* students that are in prison! Surely, if you are an intellectual human being, you wouldn't be dumb enough to get jailed, right? My grades were not great, but grades and qualifications on a paper do not compare to experience - something books do not give you!

I respect anyone who tries to go the full distance, rather than someone who just accepts failure. I go to the gym 6 times a week and each day I see the same obese man trying his best to work out. He struggles in the gym but the fact that he is there every day is extremely respectable. Your future is in your hands.

Boys, you need to drop the macho acts, forget the girls and throw away your ego. No one remembers you for how much of a bad boy you were at school, they remember you for the bad boy you grew up to be, a thug or a failure. Harsh truth. The girls are much more attractive when you're older, and I'm not talking about the same ones you find attractive now. Plus, no elegant woman is going to find a man with no ambition and an immature ego attractive. You want an elegant woman to be the mother of your children right?

Girls. you are beautiful, you have it all going for you; don't throw it away. Don't waste your time chasing boys or older men who only want to take advantage of your youthfulness. The boys are not the MAN you will eventually marry, and these older dudes are not getting any girls their own age for a reason. Wait till you are old enough to find a man that mirrors a male that inspires you, that could be your father (obviously from an adolescent girls perspective). If you chase a man because he has cool tattoos, big muscles or because you're attracted to a specific race, you are insulting such men as your loving fathers and brothers; who are not mixed race guys with tattoos, for example.

You are growing up; as your age increases, let your awareness increase, let your eyelids rise and see life for what it really is. Be a better person than me, and millions of other people in the world. You can be the best, it's all up to you.

Stay With Me

Life: Sit Back & Enjoy The Ride (Part 1)

We all live different lives, deal with different experiences and have different opinions on the world and the bodies that we live in.

Life is like a roller coaster; it starts off slow from the bottom, gradually builds up speed, takes you high, and when the roller coaster is at the highest point it steady's itself before it comes down fast! We all know that feeling. The older we get, the faster life gets, and the constant high and lows begin to occur.

My roller coaster started when I was 15. The teenage life is when you start to feel a hint of adult emotion, a bit of experience and see things you had never seen before.

You would be surprised to know that I did not know why I was in school. I did not understand the importance of obtaining GCSEs and school was more like a social zone to me. Don't worry about why I was so clueless, it was the life that I lived at the time. There is just some things that I could not speak off, my heart doesn't allow me and my mind wants to forget. I had been arrested twice at the age of 15 during my GCSE exams because of situations that I put myself in. No one was to blame but myself. I had no older brother, no father figure and I was confused. Usually your parents help sculpt you, I had to build myself.

Let's start with my GCSEs. In class, I lacked concentration and my mind was elsewhere.  I would chat away through classes, day dream or worry about being attacked after school. When you're a teenager you try ever so hard to fit in. I managed to get myself involved within the wrong crowd and because of that wrong crowd, people disliked me. I didn't want GCSEs, I wanted a reputation.

 

Trying to gain this reputation had almost caused me a criminal record. I was completely innocent, I was just an idiot for being at the wrong place at the wrong time. The second time I got arrested was more or less for the same thing. My friends had rivalry and were being heavily targeted by guys who must have had nothing to lose. Literally, these guys had come with cars loaded with hammers, screwdrivers, knives and god knows what else and brutally attacked my friends. The guys had shown no remorse at all. One of my friends was inside a KFC with me and got attacked. There was kids inside the KFC crying, but the attack went on.

My friends had a few deterrents on them for protection because they knew they were being targeted. One of these deterrents was a hammer, located in MY bag. After the incident, I knew that the police would be here soon. After checking up on my friends, I ran to the nearest street to hide the hammer. Now this is the funny part.  I found a nice little street corner, I placed the hammer down and looked up to find myself under a CCTV camera; I should have smiled for the picture. This is how I got arrested the second time.

The week I got arrested was GCSE revision week, not for me though. I was revising my life. Being in a cell again almost made me break down, I did not want to be here and couldn't believe my luck. I wished I could have turned back time and just lived a normal teenage life.

Like the first arrest, I was released after months of bail, without charge. I wanted to change and did not want to live like this anymore. I did not want to live a life in fear, I was only 15! So this is what I did..

I stopped going out, cut off all communication with people who would get me in trouble, stopped dressing a certain way and started putting in effort towards my exams. It was too late though.

I dressed up in a nice formal blue Lacoste shirt, my best pair of jeans and shoes. It was GCSE results day.

I failed my GCSEs, I have no shame in admitting it. Whilst everyone else was dancing in jubilation with their parents, I walked home alone with my head down the whole time, found a discreet location and sat there with my head in my hands for hours. I got ten D's, a few E's and one F.

Did I deserve this? Of course I did. Failing my GCSEs was the best thing to ever happen to me. my eyelids were lifted and I would finally see reality and snapped out of whatever trance I was under.

Are you a teenager at school who finds themselves in a similar situation to how I was? If so, don't make the same mistake I made. I came out a better person than I expected, but that all came at a price. I had to sacrifice so much to get to where I am now. My past sometimes still comes back and briefly haunts me. You don't need to sacrifice, you can make a change NOW.

Just because some kids wear fancy clothes, speak in a certain form, are popular in school and treat school like a chill zone, you don't need to! Just because you get bullied by kids who you feel inferior too, that doesn't matter! I was told I was worthless, ugly and that I would never amount to nothing. The same kids that said those things to me are doing nothing with their lives. If I hadn't changed the direction I was going, I would probably be doing nothing with my life as well.

I promise you, anything is possible... ANYTHING.. Try it...

Do not make any excuses, you do not need to live a certain way because it is the only option available to you. There are many options, you just need to look for them.. They won't come to you.

This is part one of my blog post. On my next post I will tell you what happened after I failed my GCSEs.

Stay With Me.

Music: Do You Think This Was Easy?

So how did my music develop? When did I start? Why do I bother carrying on? When I am still not earning money from what I do? Let me tell you something; music was my friend when no one else was, my hobby when I wasn't good at anything and it made me express myself like I could never express myself casually. 

I started making music at 12, which means that I have been doing this for almost a decade. I was awful, if I played you a song of mine from when I started or even a few years after, you would not have taken me seriously. In fact, if you played the teenage me one of my most recent songs, I would have never believed that was me. 

When I listen back to my music from previous years, I am rather surprised at my lyrical content. Even at the age of 12, everything was awful but my lyrics were always good.  

If you think that it was easy for me to get to the stage that I am at now, then you are mistaken. Yes, I'm not rich or hugely famous, heck I haven't even released an official single yet. BUT it was not easy, I promise you. 

All my musical life, I have written my own songs, mixed down my own songs, edited my own vocals, got myself shows and had to deal with the criticism that came along with it solely. Not only this; I've had to deal with the emotional, mental, financial and time burden that comes with making music. 

What burdens? Let's start with emotional. When I was at the starting point of making music, I knew I sucked. I had always listened to other musicians and wished to be as good as them. I used to always put myself down and was even embarassed to show any of my friends or school mates my music. In the situation I am currently in, I still criticise myself but I don't take it to heart anymore. AND I am now better than those I wanted to be as good as. They all ask to work with me too. Music is especially emotionally draining when you lack inspiration; inspiration is the colour of the lyrics you try and create imagery of and without this colour everything is black and white. Without this inspiration, you feel hopeless and feel as if you are getting no where. 

Through music I have also made and lost several friends. You meet people all over the country, who you then become friends with because of what you have in common. These relationships never last, I can never stress the amount of people who have called me a brother and now do not exist in my life. 

... Then again, I have met some amazing people who I wish to take on this journey with me. They are not just musicians though, they are real people, you know? 

Mentally, music has a huge affect. Music can either create, kill or condition egos. In my musical career, I have gone through a phase where I've had an inflated ego.  Now I think I can happily say that I've matured enough to just be level headed.  

As well as ego boosting praise, there is also morale puncturing and ego derailing criticism. I have probably had all sorts of criticism: Constructional, hateful, religious, hypocritical and even the harsh truth. All these come with the package, but I must outline the religious criticism, I do not deserve this. 

When I started making music, I wanted to inspire, make music with a meaning and avoid any explicit language in my songs, as well as being an anti sex, drugs and alcohol promoting rapper. Although I have not promoted sex, drugs nor alcohol in my music, I am guilty of swearing. My excuse was that it adds emotional emphasis (depending on the song) and it gives a harder delivery.  

After I left school, at the age of 16 when my music was improving, I was well recognised in my city. All the younger kids from the city would approach me or point at me from afar and whisper as if I was a celebrity. This prompted a mature response from me and I avoided explicit language in my music because I didn't want the kids to copy me.  

A few years later I went through an emotional phase where I started swearing in my songs again. It then became a habit and stuck with me. Although I wasn't too explicit, it was still wrong and against everything I stood for. Recently I have either muted or reversed any explicit language in my music or even avoided it all together. Sometimes the lyrics have to be deep and that involves swearing, but that's between me and my pen... No one needs to hear it. 

So yes, Religion? Why must I be criticised for doing something that isn't harming anybody? Isn't illegal and IS against my religion? Look, I know right from wrong, I'm not stupid. I know why I am doing music and so does GOD. Religion is all about intention and my intention is not to chase riches, stardom and to be lead astray. NEVER. You must trust me on this.  

I do not crave attention, I just crave affection. All I'm asking for is your love and support, I don't want your money and minds. 

About 2 years ago, I was releasing almost 3 songs every week.  Now I am at university, playing football and working on my health and fitness, I do not have the time. There is no patience in music. People will give you their hope and belief for a short amount of time and if you do not fulfill expectations then they will disappear, with the hope and belief.  

I have dedicated a fair amount of time in my music and have been very patient. I remember everyone who supports me, all the names and faces. Some really nice people who don't even want to know me anymore because I have not met their expectations. People need to be really patient with me, I will succeed.  

I have never charged anyone for my music and 2012 alone was the year I released 40 songs. That's 40 free songs I wrote, recorded, edited, made YouTube videos for, released and promoted.. For YOU! Believe me, that is a lot of time and effort. All I ask for is your patience, love and support. 

As for the financial side of things, I am a product of poverty. Don't get me wrong, my family background is pretty good. We are not poor, but we are not swimming in money either.  

I was raised in a single parent council house when my parents got seperated. We had a house that we left behind, my fathers home. My mum had no job and me and my siblings didn't have any fancy clothes or huge portions on our dinner plates.  

I have always been against asking my parents for money and have been pretty independent financially. I am an adult now, so asking my parents for money is definitely out of the question. 

I do have money, but I have to be responsible and spend wisely. Music is very expensive and as a student at university I cannot afford to invest fully in myself at the moment, but I will slowly build myself towards it.  

So why do I want to do this? Because I started it with an aim and I plan to fulfill that aim. Money is no issue, I still enjoy making music and that is what I will carry on doing whilst I am young. I have set myself an age limit and do not intend on forcing the issue. If I do not fulfill my aim whilst I am still young, then it was just simply not meant to be. This is the child me's dream, I am now becoming an adult with different ambitions. I just have unfinished business. 

Stay with me.