Saturday 4 January 2014

Music: Time To Call It A Day.

I started this blog post months ago, but have decided to finish and publish it. I have not told anyone about this. You can call this an official statement, if you want.

I have decided to stop making music. There is no religious (common) reason behind it and there is no other front. I am stopping for me. I made this decision months ago in my mind and have tried to force myself to push a little bit more but honestly, I can't. I am tired of trying to be something I'm not anymore. I will explain further.

When my grandfather passed away I was absent from music for a while. A few months later I did release two songs: 'Free Palestine' & 'Perspective'. I tried to write more but I couldn't. It was almost like any talent I had, was sucked away from me. I think I had just grown up. Well, anyway, a year later I brought you 'Love You More' which happens to be my most recent and now my last track (Collectors item for those of you that have downloaded it lol). Since then I have promised you a project with a documentary. Now the documentary I may still release, but the mixtape I can't. This project was to be my last, with the announcement of me stopping music but I just can't do it anymore. I have tried to force it, but I just simply can't.

Music was something that motivated me. I was releasing two songs every week. Now I seem to be releasing two songs every year. The reasons? No fan support, no media support, no backing, no instrumentals and my metaphoric pen which inks blood has suddenly ran out of cartridges. But these are just reasons for being demotivated, not for stopping.

Music was something I started when I was 12. It was what the child me wanted. I wanted to make lots of friends, be loved, be heard and be the best that I could be. I am a grown man now and feel that I have done exactly what the child me wanted. I have met great people, including those handful of you who will read this. Over a million hits on YouTube in total, hundreds of thousands of downloads and my last and only project was a success. I did not manage to make a music video (as much as I wanted to), but my brothers video can substitute that ambition. I have performed in front of thousands of people, I have been played on radio and made friends who I will spend the rest of my life with.

I have always from day one said to myself that I will stop around this age, and it's amazing how things pan out.

Religion had always been in the back of my mind, and I was often criticised for making music. My intentions weren't money or fame, I was fulfilling my childhood ambition. I never wanted to be famous or any of that artificial stuff. But, I did want to be famous. Not rich leading a celebrity lifestyle, but popular and loved.

Like I said, I think I had just grown up. Stay with me though, I will be active still; releasing blog posts, as well as videos from my up and coming health & fitness YouTube channel.

I will release a project with my own favorite songs, past and present on the 8th march. 

...Thank you for watching me grow up. I am not dying, I'm still here.