Failure & Success: I Was A Nobody.

I want to keep this short and sweet. As the new year approaches, I want to write something which may inspire or motivate you.

In school, I was always last pick when it came to activities. I was a football fanatic but absolutely sucked at it. I played for a local team and was never played in my favored position. I would play as a central defender and don't ever remember making a tackle. There was a game where the coach played me as an attacking midfielder. I came on as a sub for the last 5 minutes. My second touch of the ball was a goal. I still remember dancing in jubilation, I had scored which became the winning goal. All the other kids got a medal that day, I didn't get one. The next game I was a substitute again; my team was getting dismantled. The game was already lost so the manager thought he may as well give me a run. I still remember him saying: "If you go on, you better not stop running." -  The score was 7-1. I came on as a central midfielder and after 5 minutes of running I was absolutely shattered. I looked towards the touchline and the manager was getting ready to substitute me, so I ran. I took the ball off the opposition on the halfway mark and ran as fast as I could, my heart pounding and my mind wanting me to stop. This resulted in an assist; I set up a further 3 goals and the match ended 7-5. I didn't get a losers medal that day. The coach promised me one at a later time but that time never came. I left the team and stopped playing football.

I fell in love with football again when I was introduced to 5 a side football a couple of years later. I started off rusty, unfit and my reading off the game was as precise as a blunt razor blade. I did suck for a few years. When I managed to find fitness and started going to the park on my own and practicing skills and tricks I had seen on YouTube, I actually became really good. I'm way too old to go anywhere with football now (In a footballing perspective), but I can play now with great tenacity.

This is another 'in school one'. In school, I was called names and was mocked for my physical appearance. I was either 'skinny' or 'ugly'. Through my late teenage years, I was extremely dissatisfied with life and was stressed. I began to put on weight and although I didn't get huge, I didn't like what I saw in the mirror. My friends would often mock me and tease me about getting fat. This is exactly why I love my friends. They drove me to getting into better shape than them. As for those kids in school who called me names, I would love a school reunion so we could compare our lives. I'm only joking, but you see where I'm coming from... So kids let that be a lesson to you, do not look down on anyone.

My teachers never directly told me I was failure, but I know they thought it. I don't blame them, I was lazy and lacked concentration. There was this one guy who used to call me stupid and rub his grades in my face. Like I said, I would love a reunion. I was raised in a broken home. If you come from a broken home, you could relate and understand that motivation is difficult to find. Honestly, I did not know how important a GCSE was. Rightly so, I failed every single thing.

I won't go into detail of what happened after. But I went onto study two degrees in Journalism and Sport & Exercise Science.

You know them awards and certificates you win in school assemblies? Yeah, I had never got any.

Music, one thing that I am renowned for. I was the worst. I absolutely sucked. My voice was terrible, my flow was awful and my delivery was cold pizza. My one strong attribute were my lyrics. I wrote with emotion, I just couldn't record as well as I wrote.I went onto getting hundreds of thousands of hits and downloads, as well as a strong social media following. I did not 'make it' in music, but I never wanted to. The level I acquired was the level I wanted to be at. I've met great people, made great friends and got the love and affection I set out to get.

All I am trying to say is, you are what you want yourself to be. I will continue to grow stronger, bigger and better each year. No one can stop me, my only obstacle is myself. If I trip, I will stand right back up. If they laugh, I will give them no reason to laugh anymore. If they tell me that I'm not good enough, I will show them that I am more than good enough. To this day, people doubt me. I love the challenge. I may seem like I am doing nothing and am incapable of achieving what you expect me not to, but I damn right will.  I do not talk, I do. I don't show off, I show up. You are not what is seen in your reflection or by the human eye, you are that fire inside of you. If it burns as much as mine, you will succeed.

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Politeness: From The Heart?

Do you ever get the feeling that someone is only being nice to you because there is some sort of reason or agenda behind it? I'm not just talking about that long lost friend who hasn't contacted you in years and is asking for a favor; I'm talking in all aspects. Being kind can either come from the heart of a person or a mind. It is either intentional or unintentional, natural or forced.

I personally do not care how nice a person is to me if they aren't the same with other people. A polite person is polite in general, not occasion. If my 'companion' enjoys the demise of others, it shows that there is a possibility that one day they will enjoy mine (god forbid).

I once had a childhood friend who spoke foul and often bullied other children. We were very good friends and would tell each other things we would not tell other people. One day, we had a disagreement whilst my mother was cooking food for us. He blackmailed me, in my own home. He threatened to spread my disclosure if I did not comply with him. This was all my own fault. I was obviously a child and did not know better, but it taught me a lesson that I will never forget. If a person can be a specific way with other people, they can also be that way with you. If it's not in their nature to be kind or moral (even if you see the best in them), that kindness you are receiving from them is not natural.

So, this brings me on to my next point. Family/relations. In my family, the women are the common culprits of this behavior. I have aunties and relatives who I absolutely adore and although they treat me with great hospitality and what not, I know that it is only a duty for them. They do not feed me because they care about my well being; they feed me because I am related to them. Some even talk to me like I'm their own child, and when I am not in their presence they talk about me like I am someone else's; which in fact is true, but if I see them as my mother figures, why can they not see me as their child figure? The answer to that is simple: Politeness, kindness from the heart.

I have always said that if there is ever a feud in a family and the reason is financially driven. Money is worth much more than the persons morals or soul. There is no right in family feuds. Everyone involved is wrong and are setting extremely horrific examples to their children. Again, feuds and grudges derive from ones heart. It is not just simply a choice, it is an impetus from the heart.

The friends we choose are not always polite. Yes, maybe to you they are and maybe you love their company too. But when the going gets tough, are your friends REALLY there? This brings me onto the gang culture that today's youth are suffering from, even adults who cannot grip the concept of maturity. These people will talk about being 'real', we hear it in their songs and in their videos. Real is reality, in short. These same people that claim to be 'real' will live a lifestyle which results in a death or injury of their friend, attend their funeral or hospital bed and continue living the same lifestyle. Is this REAL-ity? Like I said, politeness from the heart. When under bad influence, a good hearted person will think twice and change their ways. I wrote this paragraph specifically for the younger generation because I have younger siblings and was almost influenced towards that path myself.

Anyway, like I was saying. The friends we choose are not always polite. To you, yes, but think about the way they behave with other people. No one deserves bad treatment, maybe ignorance, but you should not treat someone a way in which you would not like to be treated yourself! If you have nothing nice to say or do, then just do or say nothing. A friend will laugh/smile at you, a true friend will laugh/smile with you.

I had a lot more to say and wanted to go a lot more in detail, but I want people to actually read this blog post instead of looking at how long the text is and not bothering. This is not an issue that can be fixed. Just addressed.

The Difference: A Sexy Woman & A Beautiful Woman

 Before you start reading (ladies or homosexual men), you can apply this to males as well. This is just my opinion and I have only had experiences with women.

Usually, my posts are more emotive and I let you delve into my past and give you a rough idea on who I was and who I am now. I guess you could say that this is also a part of my experience. Simply just my opinion; I genuinely believe there are two types of attractive women. Beautiful women who capture your eyes and your heart, and sexy women who steal your eyes and your mind. (I use the word steal, because in a lust plagued state of mind, your moral conscience is lost to these women.)

I have met several different women and seen several different situations in relation to this specific topic. A few days ago, I had just received a text message from a friend of mine who had been trying to get the attention of a female who had caught his eye. His message read: "I tried talking to her today. I didn't even try nothing, I just said Hi and asked how she was and she looked at me sarcastically". My reply was 'Just leave her. Unless your testosterone levels are too high to control, then continue to pursue her. A (metaphorically speaking, no pun intended) kick in the balls is better than a broken heart." Although this comparison is debatable, a kick in the balls is pretty severe.

Okay, now let me relieve you of the boring part and get down to the main body of this blog.

We'll start with beautiful woman. Here is the dictionary definition of beautiful. 'pleasing the senses or mind aesthetically.' - For those of you who don't know, the word aesthetic isn't just associated with physicality. Beautiful woman are polite, selfless, modest, unattentive and all the other things which make you think "This girl is an absolute god send.".

 If you compliment a beautiful woman, she will thank you and think you are being friendly, rather than you being another guy that's hitting on her. A beautiful girl does not involve herself in gossip and take any notice of what other girls are talking about. A beautiful girl will always know where she stands, what she is worth, but will never ever think she is too good for someone.A beautiful woman will barely ever be disrespected, she will not give him a reason to say a bad thing about her.

You get the drift. I could say so many things about these kind of women because they really do bring a mans imagination to life.  Like words can paint a thousand pictures; a beautiful woman can accumulate endless compliments.

Now, sexy women. A sexy woman (in the least rudest way I can put it) is one who appeases the eye and allows the devil himself to control the mind of the beholder. A sexy woman loves a compliment, but will only acknowledge these compliments from those who she feels are worthy of her acknowledgment, A sexy woman is popular, she talks to several people and is involved in all the gossip. She will have a thousand men after her but will cry for one who just constantly hurts her because sexiness just doesn't capture the heart, but she just hasn't grasped the concept... Yet. A sexy woman will quite frequently face abuse... But I won't go into that much, like I said; my theory is just my opinion.

If you have the mental capacity to abbreviate what the whole concept of this blog actually is, you will acknowledge the fact that I am not mocking or generalising anyone. I am not referring to physicality and what a female flaunts and doesn't. It's all in the mind....

This blog post highlights the important of intelligence and wisdom. Sexy and beautiful are just words in disguise.They are not physical descriptions, they are TRAITS.





P.S. The picture's below are no way related to whatever I'm saying. They're just there for the hell of it.

 

Backwards Mentality: FIGHT IT!

On social media sites, you see people tweet or status about other people all the time. Directly or indirectly, and this kind of behavior is wrong. If you indulge in this behavior then you HAVE a mental flaw. This is just an example. You need to control your mind, and your mind will then steer your heart the right way. Don't come across bitter, humble yourself, regardless of what anyone else is doing.

I was just like you, it took death for me to realise that I was full of flaws mentally. ARE YOU AWARE, that once you die, people will attend your funeral and talk about you, over your dead corpse, depending on the kind of person you were? In my religion, the more people that are affectionate towards your death the better. Because I go to the afterlife with their prayers and blessings. If I have people that talk bad of me once I die, I will not end up in a good place. It will be painful to my soul.

Be nice, dismiss the actions of other people and focus solely on yourself. It is easy to talk about someone because everything sinful is easy, right? But to dismiss in such talk, shows how strong and  good your character is. Be nice to everyone and I assure you that no one will have a bad thing to say about you. If you don't want to be nice, that's fine. Just don't be bitter, you will find life is much more easier when you're nice.

I just wanted to make a short blog on this because it is something that I want to see less of. Make a change and the change will make you.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT WHAT OTHERS DO, WORRY ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE DOING!

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Getting Fit: Novice's Guide

Do you want a better body? And you are absolutely clueless on how you can get that perfect figure? Have no fear, it can be done. I was also once like you, it's not as hard as it seems once you know what you are doing.

If you want to cut the fat off your body, simple. Lower your daily calorie intake by about 500 and cut out processed carbs, minimize general carb consumption. Also eat on time; most of your results will come from the food you eat. I got trim without going to the gym, believe it or not, just from doing this and eating chicken! That doesn't mean you shouldn't go to the gym though, because you should. If I was going to the gym too, I would have made some serious gains. When I eventually discovered the gym, I fell in love with myself and was surprised at my transformation.

People are so fixated on getting a six pack and this is why they fail at the first hurdle. You cannot just focus on one area of your body, you will get no where. It's like having a favorite child that you solely focus on, what kind of parent would that make you? Awful example, but you get the drift.

I don't do any ab exercises and I attained a six pack, how? Low body fat percentage and working other parts of my body. Your abs are your core, they are being worked with most exercises. Abs are just like any other muscle and working them will just stimulate them and make them grow. YOU ALREADY HAVE THEM THOUGH. Do NOT bother doing sit ups with a beer belly because you WON'T get your dream abs. EVERYONE HAS ABS, you see them once your body fat percentage is low.

Don't waste your time, efforts or money on supplements. The only ones I would recommend are: Whey protein and some multivitamins that fulfill your bodies recommended daily intake.

DO YOUR RESEARCH. 

If you would like further advice, whatever your physical aim is, feel free to E-mail me @ ajlyone@live.co.uk

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Vanity: Something I Do Not Promote.

When I was younger, I always wanted to be a hero. You know, strong, fast and there to help people (obviously). A hero is the kind of character I base my own personality around.

For the past few years, we have lived in a media dominated generation and appearance has been severely emphasised. My primary school crush called me ugly once, I was about 10 or something. It made me cry. Throughout my early years at secondary school, I was called ugly. I used to hear girls talk about how they wanted 'tall, dark and handsome' - I built myself around those insults and I prayed for the day, I was tall, dark and handsome. God has given me some kind of beauty as I have got older, them insults such as ugly, do not come around as often. This is not vanity, this is me being thankful. 

Recently I was asked why I take topless photos, I'll tell you why. I have been skinny, I have been out of shape and most recently I have been in the best shape of my life. Some have seen me skinny, some have seen me out of sorts and now everyone can see me at my best. Do I need to explain? It is not about me trying to show off, it is my revenge to those who made fun of what I looked like. I wasn't gifted the physique I currently have, I worked and prayed for it. 

So what motivated me to work on my physique? They wanted tall, dark and handsome? Here you go, but not for you, not for me, but for the child that was mocked for how he appeared. Please, intention is NOT attention and we live in a confused society that fails to differentiate the two.  

I will carry on showing those people my progression, after all; they were my motivation. I am not even halfway yet.

But like I said, I wanted to be a hero when I was younger. I helped myself, maybe after reading this, I've helped you too. You can be whatever you want to be.

P.S. I am much grateful.

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Life: Sit Back & Enjoy The Ride (Part 2)

Before you start reading this blog post, please read Part 1 by clicking HERE.

So what did I do after failing my GCSEs? I moved back to my birth place in Reading to live with my grandparents. I had always told my grandfather (whom I had an extremely strong relationship with) that I was to come and stay with him and my grandma whilst I was living in Oxford, and I did. The bad people that I had got involved with would say that 'I ran away' and yes, I did. I saw an opportunity to grab a new life and move on from the life I hated waking up to and I ran towards it. The best decision I had ever made.

My granddad was ill, therefore moving to Reading was ideal for me, he was my best friend, where else would I rather be?

The first few weeks however were really difficult for me. I had to adjust to staying in all the time, eating the same food my grandparents ate and not having any video games or siblings to keep me occupied. I had to make new friends and adjust to a new environment.

My first day at college was pretty weird. I felt almost like a lost child, I knew what I was doing here but I didn't know how I got here. I spent most of my class times day dreaming, a bad habit from my school days, where I paid no attention whatsoever. I remember two pretty girls were checking me out, well, at least I thought they were until one of them said "He's ugly." - Man, the amount of times I had got home and looked at myself in the mirror that day. I wasn't very confident, my college days were probably my most unattractive days.

Here's a video of me from my first year at college, for your entertainment (Skip to 5.27):

As the academic year went by, I made a few friends, decent lads. We all shared something in common; we fu.... Messed up.

When results day came, a few of us failed, a few passed and the rest did okay. I had passed but not the way I wanted to pass. The highest grade I got was a B in English. My only above C grade. I sucked at Maths and got a D, had another year in college doing 2 A-Levels and GCSE maths.

Failed Maths again in second year, I didn't give up, I took Maths again the following year whilst doing my A2's. Failed again. I didn't get the A Level grades I wanted either so I retook a few modules the following year and I did okay, but I failed Maths again for the fourth time. I made it to university though. There were several times that I wanted to give up, but I didn't. Even through numerous failures I carried on.

My flaw was revision. No matter what I did, I could not steadily focus on revising. Revision is a skill, and it was a skill I should have developed at school. Hey, I even made and released a few songs days before my exams, but the point being is that I still TRIED. If you are in a similar situation, YOU can go one step further than me. You can try and try hard. Revise, find the easiest way to revise for yourself and get grades that I never got and feel great about yourself! If not, get something at least... You know what they say, time is money; invest it and you're sure to get some sort of return.

I dislike when people say that if you are not hitting high grades academically then you are stupid. Take no notice, I know A* students that lack basic common sense! In fact, I know A* students that are in prison! Surely, if you are an intellectual human being, you wouldn't be dumb enough to get jailed, right? My grades were not great, but grades and qualifications on a paper do not compare to experience - something books do not give you!

I respect anyone who tries to go the full distance, rather than someone who just accepts failure. I go to the gym 6 times a week and each day I see the same obese man trying his best to work out. He struggles in the gym but the fact that he is there every day is extremely respectable. Your future is in your hands.

Boys, you need to drop the macho acts, forget the girls and throw away your ego. No one remembers you for how much of a bad boy you were at school, they remember you for the bad boy you grew up to be, a thug or a failure. Harsh truth. The girls are much more attractive when you're older, and I'm not talking about the same ones you find attractive now. Plus, no elegant woman is going to find a man with no ambition and an immature ego attractive. You want an elegant woman to be the mother of your children right?

Girls. you are beautiful, you have it all going for you; don't throw it away. Don't waste your time chasing boys or older men who only want to take advantage of your youthfulness. The boys are not the MAN you will eventually marry, and these older dudes are not getting any girls their own age for a reason. Wait till you are old enough to find a man that mirrors a male that inspires you, that could be your father (obviously from an adolescent girls perspective). If you chase a man because he has cool tattoos, big muscles or because you're attracted to a specific race, you are insulting such men as your loving fathers and brothers; who are not mixed race guys with tattoos, for example.

You are growing up; as your age increases, let your awareness increase, let your eyelids rise and see life for what it really is. Be a better person than me, and millions of other people in the world. You can be the best, it's all up to you.

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