Life: Sit Back & Enjoy The Ride (Part 1)

We all live different lives, deal with different experiences and have different opinions on the world and the bodies that we live in.

Life is like a roller coaster; it starts off slow from the bottom, gradually builds up speed, takes you high, and when the roller coaster is at the highest point it steady's itself before it comes down fast! We all know that feeling. The older we get, the faster life gets, and the constant high and lows begin to occur.

My roller coaster started when I was 15. The teenage life is when you start to feel a hint of adult emotion, a bit of experience and see things you had never seen before.

You would be surprised to know that I did not know why I was in school. I did not understand the importance of obtaining GCSEs and school was more like a social zone to me. Don't worry about why I was so clueless, it was the life that I lived at the time. There is just some things that I could not speak off, my heart doesn't allow me and my mind wants to forget. I had been arrested twice at the age of 15 during my GCSE exams because of situations that I put myself in. No one was to blame but myself. I had no older brother, no father figure and I was confused. Usually your parents help sculpt you, I had to build myself.

Let's start with my GCSEs. In class, I lacked concentration and my mind was elsewhere.  I would chat away through classes, day dream or worry about being attacked after school. When you're a teenager you try ever so hard to fit in. I managed to get myself involved within the wrong crowd and because of that wrong crowd, people disliked me. I didn't want GCSEs, I wanted a reputation.

 

Trying to gain this reputation had almost caused me a criminal record. I was completely innocent, I was just an idiot for being at the wrong place at the wrong time. The second time I got arrested was more or less for the same thing. My friends had rivalry and were being heavily targeted by guys who must have had nothing to lose. Literally, these guys had come with cars loaded with hammers, screwdrivers, knives and god knows what else and brutally attacked my friends. The guys had shown no remorse at all. One of my friends was inside a KFC with me and got attacked. There was kids inside the KFC crying, but the attack went on.

My friends had a few deterrents on them for protection because they knew they were being targeted. One of these deterrents was a hammer, located in MY bag. After the incident, I knew that the police would be here soon. After checking up on my friends, I ran to the nearest street to hide the hammer. Now this is the funny part.  I found a nice little street corner, I placed the hammer down and looked up to find myself under a CCTV camera; I should have smiled for the picture. This is how I got arrested the second time.

The week I got arrested was GCSE revision week, not for me though. I was revising my life. Being in a cell again almost made me break down, I did not want to be here and couldn't believe my luck. I wished I could have turned back time and just lived a normal teenage life.

Like the first arrest, I was released after months of bail, without charge. I wanted to change and did not want to live like this anymore. I did not want to live a life in fear, I was only 15! So this is what I did..

I stopped going out, cut off all communication with people who would get me in trouble, stopped dressing a certain way and started putting in effort towards my exams. It was too late though.

I dressed up in a nice formal blue Lacoste shirt, my best pair of jeans and shoes. It was GCSE results day.

I failed my GCSEs, I have no shame in admitting it. Whilst everyone else was dancing in jubilation with their parents, I walked home alone with my head down the whole time, found a discreet location and sat there with my head in my hands for hours. I got ten D's, a few E's and one F.

Did I deserve this? Of course I did. Failing my GCSEs was the best thing to ever happen to me. my eyelids were lifted and I would finally see reality and snapped out of whatever trance I was under.

Are you a teenager at school who finds themselves in a similar situation to how I was? If so, don't make the same mistake I made. I came out a better person than I expected, but that all came at a price. I had to sacrifice so much to get to where I am now. My past sometimes still comes back and briefly haunts me. You don't need to sacrifice, you can make a change NOW.

Just because some kids wear fancy clothes, speak in a certain form, are popular in school and treat school like a chill zone, you don't need to! Just because you get bullied by kids who you feel inferior too, that doesn't matter! I was told I was worthless, ugly and that I would never amount to nothing. The same kids that said those things to me are doing nothing with their lives. If I hadn't changed the direction I was going, I would probably be doing nothing with my life as well.

I promise you, anything is possible... ANYTHING.. Try it...

Do not make any excuses, you do not need to live a certain way because it is the only option available to you. There are many options, you just need to look for them.. They won't come to you.

This is part one of my blog post. On my next post I will tell you what happened after I failed my GCSEs.

Stay With Me.